Saturday, June 18, 2011

Me, Malta and...Angelina?

End of April 2011.
No more snow. Season is over in Vars les Claux.
Worked 7days a week for 2months.
Spent 24h/day with my employers, an amazing couple, going through a very difficult time with faith and hope.
Slept on a mattress on the floor, sharing the spare room with a bunch of geraniums.
A 88years old man died of natural cause in his car in front of the spa. I sat next to him, holding his wife's hand the time the ambulance came. They were married for 60 years. That day, I wished for the same fate.

The month of May 2011 was all about family and friends in France.

31st of May. I am in Barcelona. Holiday.
While walking randomly in the city I find myself in the Jewish neighbourhood. A shop is playing Boee by Idan Raichel and I end up visiting one of the oldest synagogues in Europe.
Now it's official, I've been cursed!
The city is awesome. Gaudi was a genius,Alen Garagig is the most talented guitarist I have ever seen and Genius Loci is one of the most fascinating art exhibitions I have ever been to.

4th of June. Malta
Back on the scene of the “crime”.
A sour feeling.
7 months later, I am still recovering.
Recovering from my mistakes.
Recovering from the knockout my French pride suffered from.

The worst is that no one knocked me out. I did it myself.
No one can take your dignity away but yourself.

Everyone is proud of me. My parents. My family. My friends.
Yes, I did organise a concert for Peace and Tolerance, a cultural inter-exchange between a Maltese artist and an Israeli group, a Daniel Pearl World music days Event.
A beautiful concert.
Despite the lack of resources, despite my lack of knowledge, despite the obstacles, despite what people could think.
But I didn't succeed.
Because I lost thousands of Euros?
Because I lost faith?
Because I realized that I am not ready to run a NGO?
Because I couldn't see love anymore?
Because I was not able to communicate with anyone anymore,including myself?
Because I experienced hate?
Because I didn't feel at peace?
Because I was ashamed?

No one can take your dignity away but yourself.
Stand up. Keep your head up
All you need to do is to turn around, to look back, to look at the story from a different angle.

Well...Let's say that I suffered from muscle soreness for a few months!

So yes. I am in Malta for a few days.
To take responsibility for my actions.
And to close down Pamper the World.
I have realized that to run a charity organisation is much more than voluntary work, much more than commitments.
It's a business
I can't run a NGO. I can't run that kind of business.
I'm not ready or I'm not good at it or both. I don't know yet.

Ludi and all my friends here have been really supportive as always.
No drama! You had a good idea, you did so much good around you, the concert was fantastic. No one here think you're a looser!

I'm enjoying sunny Malta and all what this beautiful island has to offer.
And apparently, I am not the only one.....

You know who is here?” Ludi says
Who's that?”
Angelina Jolie. Brad Pitt is shooting a movie in Malta “
You're kidding? You mean that I went all the way to L.A. 2 years ago, just to meet her and that, today, after all those adventures, after I close down the association, she is here when I am here !!!!????

She is in Malta.
I tried absolutely everything I could while in L.A., to meet celebrities.
I had that crazy idea: to work in the film industry as private massage therapist for the crew to then be able to volunteer with people the most in need.
To use massage therapy as psychological, physiological and emotional support to people victims of violence.
That how the whole idea of Pamper the World was born.
I needed to fund my project. There is money in Hollywood. I went for it. No luck then!

She 's here?
What should I do?
Should I try to meet her?
What for?
What would I tell her now?

That she has inspired 2 years of my life and maybe more....

Every end has a beginning and the beginning was her...

I could, maybe, just give her a copy of this blog.
110 pages?
Yes. Like a book.
It's pretty

I am leaving the island on Tuesday.

Saturday the 18th. 01H00

Ludi is waiting for the last few words of this post to print it....

Should I?

1 comment:

  1. Hy Anne

    I read your homepage the first time now. You can write so well, i became a victim to your lines. Thank you. Just go your way. CU John from the Aussie trip